- These colors don’t run: The number for the National Lawyers Guild, in case of arrest.
Number of bare ladybreasts: 4
Number of bare ladybreasts that turned out to be male ladybreasts: 2
Number of people who boasted of taking a shit at the W hotel and, either before or after, stealing two bottles of booze from the bar: 1
Number of people who seemed certifiable from a distance and were proven to be so upon closer (involuntary) inspection: 2
Number of literal tree huggers: 8
Number of freestyle rappers: 7 (2 black, 4 white, 1 omg so white)
Number of free items I was offered: 5 (trail mix, dry socks, T-shirt, poncho, plastic bin)
Number of times someone took my photo: eleventy-billion
Number of times someone asked to interview me: 1
Number of times I refused: 1
Time the streams of old people showed up: 6 a.m.
Number of crazy rainshowers: 2
Number of hours my butt was soggy for America: 8.5
Degree to which I needed to pee: nth
Bajira! 
did you accept all of the free items or just the plastic bin? can never have enough plastic bins.
i took the t-shirt, which came in handy since i was totally soaked by the rain within the first 30 minutes. also once the tv news vans arrived at 4am, i used the t-shirt as a tent against the insanely bright lights.