Conversations Whilst at the Police Station

Perp (recently released): “Imma put my shoelaces back in, aight?”
Cop: “Aight.”
Perp: “I can’t be walkin’ around with my shoes floppin’ every which way.”
Cop: “Sure, I understand.”
Perp: “I gotta look good. I’m jazzy like that.”

___________________________________

Same Perp: “Hey. Where my perfume at?”
Cop: “Excuse me?”
Perp: “My perfume? My oil? I came in here with some oil.”
Cop: “Oh, sorry, sir. I think they probably didn’t keep that since it was a liquid and they aren’t allowed to keep liquids with your possessions.”
Perp (sincerely dejected): “Aw.”

_____________________________________

Tattooed lady: “Yeah, I got a tattoo.”
Friend: “Lemme see.”
Tattooed lady: “Well, it’s down under my collar on my back.”
Friend: “Lemme see.” (pulls collar away from back of neck and peers down) “What it say?”
Tattooed lady: “It’s my grandmother’s initials and my brother’s initials.”
Friend: “Why you don’t got your momma’s initials?”
Tattooed lady: “Both of my parents passed away.”
Friend: “Aw, okay. That’s nice.”

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