Conversations with My Grocery Clerk

Clerk while scanning the frozen corn: You know what tastes real good on corn?
Me glad I didn’t purchase any feminine products since this clerk is clearly observing and commenting on my purchases: Salt? Butter?
Clerk: Some melted mozzarella cheese.
Me hesitantly: Sounds … interesting.
Clerk matter-of-factly: It’s so good and tasty.
Me accommodatingly: Could be.
Clerk insistingly: It *is*. Just sprinkle some on top and it’s delicious.
Me foolishly continuing: Ah. Then again, butter is pretty good. Butter is pretty good with almost anything.
Clerk preachily: Butter clogs your arteries.
Me argumentatively: Cheese doesn’t?
Clerk finally: But cheese gives you constipation so you get to keep that great taste in your body longer.


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