Clotheshorse

(klzhôrs, klz-)

A person excessively concerned with dress. 

See also: Aunty so and so, Fobby cousin-in-law, and a disconcerting number of Desi ladies around the world.  Give it up, people.  I’m not going to wear something sparkly and jabby, nor low-cut nor tight-fitting, and you can just forget about trying to get me into high heels.  I am a grown ass woman, dawg.  If I’m not dressed up for whatever event we both happen to be in attendance, there’s probably a reason for it.

I wanted to pack lightly.

I don’t wear make-up unless I’m getting married or someone I’m related to is getting married.

I didn’t want to scratch up my babies’ faces with diamantés when, inevitably, I am required to carry or hug them.

I didn’t think the occasion warranted the fancies.

I don’t care that I wore this same tremendously expensive outfit to another party and am “repeating”.

You don’t need to ask me if I’m going to change or if I was going to surprise you with some glamorous outfit later in the evening.  What you see is what you get.  You’re lucky that I didn’t show up in my pajamas.  Mind yo bidness.  That’s all.  Just mind yo bidness.

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12 responses to “Clotheshorse

  1. will you marry me?

  2. but that would require me to wear make-up! *sigh* okay, fine. 😐

  3. and when you’re done marrying adnan, will you marry me, too, please? no makeup required.

    i will most likely wear sparkly eyeliner. but you don’t need to worry about any of that. and you could even wear your pajamas. i’ll probably wear my pajamas, too, along with my favorite red hoodie.

  4. done and done. let’s go figure out where we are going to register and how likely we are to get matching orange wespas as a wedding gift.

  5. dangit, am i too late to make a marriage proposal?

    and baji, i feel the exact same way about everything you said except by exact same way i mean in the exact same opposite way. no, i will not wear sneakers anywhere, including to the gym (assuming i would go to the gym, which i wouldn’t). these legs have never seen the inside of sweatpants and never will, and yes, i will wear my fanciest dress to unclog the toilet, why do you ask?

  6. i thought we were already married.

    i know you dig the fancy togs but i’ve seen you sport a pair of chucks before too. i love you, nonetheless.

  7. You’re blogging again!!! I didn’t know! Hooray! 😀

    And I love this post- I have the same issues when ‘dressing’up (or not, in my case). Even with Abayas, where you think you have it easy because they’re all black anyway, I think I’ve been this close to being thrown out of Pakistani weddings because I don’t meet the minimum makeup requirement (I wear none) and am dangerously below the prerequisite glamor level. Ain’t no bling happening here, I can’t even wear high-heels because my orthopedic arch supports don’t fit in them, HA!

  8. lol, abez, it’ll be a year next month that this hyah blog has been around!

    re: orthopedic arch supports – that means you can legitimately say, ‘i have a medical condition that prevents me from dressing up!’ i have no excuse but my own surliness/laziness. surlaziness. that’s a legit scrabbie word, right?

  9. Almost a year old? And you never told me? *pout*

  10. i did! it was in the comment section of my last post of my previous blog AND on my FB. this newest incarnation is a joint venture between me and gojira.

  11. that Cedric clip was amazing. and that sari-wrapping picture would make an amazing postcard. where is it from? i want to print it and make amazing postcards.

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