Conversations With My Plumber

Him: “Your kitchen faucet has a drip and the leak is coming from within the cartridge that is housed inside the stem.  I can replace the cartridge for you, no problem, but it will probably leak again in six months or a year.  Or, I can install a completely new faucet with a lifetime guarantee.”

Me: “What’s the price difference?”

Him: “The cartridge repair will probably be around $250 and the new and better faucet will be about $575 with a lifetime guarantee.  I’ve got one in my truck and I can install it right now.  By the way, where are you from?”

Me: “My family is from Pakistan.”

Him: “I’m from Afghanistan!  We are neighbors!  That’s great!  So, what would you like to do?  Should I go get the new faucet for you?”

Me: (surreptitiously trying to research faucets on the ipop while calling TP to get his opinion – no luck so must make executive decision now else face another fee for bringing him back another day) “Might as well go with the full replacement then.”

[water off, installation racket, water on]

Me: “Hm.  Uh.  Thanks.”

[peace and quiet so I can actually do research on the mac.  faucet only costs about $100.  rage at TP to call the company back and find out what the price breakdown is b/c if a plumber is making more than $200/hour, then i’m in the wrong business]

His Boss: “Sorry, he charged you for the wrong faucet.  We’ll refund you the difference.”

Jackholes

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2 responses to “Conversations With My Plumber

  1. 1. how come YOUR plumber doesn’t hit on you like gojira’s does!? (interro-action!)

    2. how come, if you’re SUCH neighbors, your afghan plumber doesn’t give neighborly discounts!? BAH!

    3. ‘ipop’ references will always make me laugh. love!

  2. 1. gojira’s exterminator is the charmer. i don’t know if she has a plumber.

    2. i KNOW! i was wondering if he was smooth talking me with all the neighborly chit chat so i wouldn’t notice he was totally fleecing me.

    3. 😀

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