Breach of Contract

By Registered Blog

Dear Baji:

RE: RESOLUTION BY AND BETWEEN BAJI AND THE BABY NEW YEAR

You are hereby notified that you are in breach of The Rez.  More specifically, you have breached the following obligations under The Rez:

Section 1(a): Get more sleep — you have failed to train your newest employee to self-sooth and sleep through the night and as a result have failed to meet this requirement;

Section 1(g): Buy low and sell high — although you bought low, you never sold high;

Section 1(h): Move to a location with more bathrooms throughout the house and fewer homicides in the back yard — pursuant to the mayoral edict renovating and opening the street behind the house, the number of homicides have dropped but the number of bathrooms have not increased;

Section 1(k): Refrain from new purchases of books until the books on the “to be read” shelf (see addendum attached hereto) have been read . . . or at least cracked open — you have blatantly and flagrantly ignored the terms of this section and purchased several books including, inter alia, Forking FantasticStitches, Intern, and How to Talk About Books You Haven’t Read (and don’t even try to use Gojira as an excuse).

However, pursuant to the terms of The Rez, The Baby New Year is obligated to and shall cut Baji some slack.  So.  You know.  Um.  Carry on.  And Happy New Year to all y’all.

Sincerely,

The Baby New Year

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2 responses to “Breach of Contract

  1. I too am in breach of section 1(h). No matter how much time goes by, the number of bathrooms in my apartment does not increase and the kitchen stubbornly refuses to leave the living room and go find its own space. The living room and I have been talking about taking out a restraining order against the kitchen.

    And section 1(k) is an epic disaster, but I think I actually can blame you for a lot of that.

  2. please inform your living room that i would be happy to represent both of you in court when the kitchen objects to and seeks to lift the retraining order and files a countersuit. heh. kitchen. countersuit.

    no way! i’m blameless. i can’t help it if you review my goodreads list and/or glance at my amazon wishlist and/or accept delivery of books sent via lbmail.

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