I’m a PC and Even I Have a Mac: Conversations With Strangers at Work

Man I Don’t Know to Woman I Don’t Know: I need an umlaut.
Woman I Don’t Know: You what?
Man: I need an umlaut.
Me [chipper, decisive, loud]: I can get you an umlaut! Here youuuu, ohhhh [midswoop, face falling, devastated] is that a…a…um…PC?
Man: It’s okay.
Me [chipper and decisive again, less loud]: I’ll email you an umlaut!
Man: Don’t worry about it; I’ll google for it and copy and paste it in. That’s what I usually do.
Me [crestfallen]: Oh, okay.

If your daily newspaper is late tomorrow, it’s because the reporters got held up looking for an umlaut.


9 responses to “I’m a PC and Even I Have a Mac: Conversations With Strangers at Work

  1. i love how your desire to help in language-related matters outweighs your normal anti-social tendencies. you are too cüte.


    i looove umlauts. and this post.
    also, as a related aside, i HATE when people keep writing about ‘über this’ and ‘über that,’ but they spell it ‘uber.’ i’ll email you an umlaut, you bastids!

  3. hahah, i was wondering if this post would catch your eye. 🙂

  4. Baji, you’re so right. The only other time I jumped unbidden into a conversation with strangers at work was when I heard some people debating how to spell something in Italian.

    And I love how Yasmine turns it into a threat — “Why I oughta…email you an umlaut, you bastids.” Truly one of us.

    Baji, please ask Dr. TP what it means if I feel like I have the flu, but only on one side of my body. That I’ve gotten the flu and suffered a stroke at the same time? I googled flu + “aches on one side of my body” and the result was a quote by Michael Jackson. That can’t be good.

  5. To be googleless and without an umlaut in an elevator is one thing, but there are direr straits: “Apologies for the non-Hungarian umlaut—I don’t know how to do Hungarian ones in WordPress.” Quick Fontgirl, to the Fontcave!

    Since this little box
    and up there ^) I’m typing in seems to consider itself an instance of WordPress (whatever that may be) I suppose I might as well try a few things. If they work, you can email Gowers, who has been waiting for this for months.

    Here’s the HTML code version – ő

    Here’s the actual character, in some sense: ő

    And down there v ‘s the submit butto

  6. Ishirō, thank you for bringing this to Bajira!’s attention. It appears the umlaut situation is more serious than initially thought.

    Fact: Every eight minutes, an American finds himself in need of an umlaut.
    Fact: One in ten Americans has needed an umlaut at some point in his life.
    Fact: Eleven in ten Germans need an umlaut right now.
    Fact: Umlauts have been shown to cause blindness in lab rats. You should not use umlauts if you are pregnant, plan to become pregnant, or are breastfeeding.

  7. re: flu – Dr. TP isn’t sure what it is but he highly recommends that you gargle with vinegar. if that doesn’t work, i’m sure he’d also recommend some echinacea, green tea, or a combination thereof. did i tell you about this crazy diet he’s now on after talking to a nutritionist? i tried it for 6 hours. not fun times.

  8. The six-hour diet? Sounds awesome, tell me more.

  9. it’s really quite complicated but i’ve distilled it into this catchy little ditty:

    no sugar
    no wheat
    no dairy
    no meat

    but sugar is sweet
    and bagels can’t be beat
    is chocolate soy milk a cheat?
    what is left for me to eat?

    *weeps vegan tears*
    *jazz hands*

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