Man I Don’t Know to Woman I Don’t Know: I need an umlaut.
Woman I Don’t Know: You what?
Man: I need an umlaut.
Me [chipper, decisive, loud]: I can get you an umlaut! Here youuuu, ohhhh [midswoop, face falling, devastated] is that a…a…um…PC?
Man: It’s okay.
Me [chipper and decisive again, less loud]: I’ll email you an umlaut!
Man: Don’t worry about it; I’ll google for it and copy and paste it in. That’s what I usually do.
Me [crestfallen]: Oh, okay.
If your daily newspaper is late tomorrow, it’s because the reporters got held up looking for an umlaut.