The Other Day I Fell On My Head and Woke Up at the Movies

Apropos of nothing, I’d like to say that I’m proud of the fact that Baji and I never write headlines that in any way conform to the rules of SEO (search-engine optimization). Nothing could bring me more pleasure than to know that we are routinely confounding serious-minded citrus-fruit-enthusiast bike riders on the hunt for Dollhouse spoilers.

And on that note, another useless, disinformational post. Hurray!

Once TV actually became good (circa 1999, with the birth of HBO’s The Sopranos), I more or less stopped going to the movies. It helped that it was around that period that I also got a TV for the first time. And that movies had turned to crap. Generally speaking, I try to avoid the old person’s lament, “Things were better in my day.” Things were not better in your day, old person, they were worse. You might say, old person, that today’s young people have no manners. Well, in your day they had manners only as regarded selected groups of people. So I’m not impressed. Also, (some of) today’s young people have manners and the Internet. And none of them are afraid of communists. Triple whammy. So technology is better. As for books and music and art, they are neither worse nor better, they are different, which lands them pretty much in the “better” category as far as I’m concerned. Music delivery is better. Life is better. Not for all of us, not nearly, but for more of us, yes. I stand by that. Exhibit A: I do whatever the heck I want and I’m a lady (purely in the double-X chromosome sense; we all know I ain’t no lady). I win, you lose. See ya later, Don Imus.

But I do think movies are worse. And getting worser. Of course, I don’t see any of them, so what do I know? And it has to be said that I too am worse than I was in my day, and that surely must be a factor. (And how delightful being worse is.)

So I only go a few times a year and I try to make these few times count, especially given the extortionate Manhattan ticket prices. This year’s highlights were Valentino: The Last Emperor and The September Issue. A couple years ago there was Michael Clayton and The Departed, both of which really held my interest during the showing and stayed with me for a good long while afterward (but how dumb was that last shot in The Departed?). Don’t ask me what happened last year, I haven’t a clue. Imagine my surprise, then, in suddenly finding myself a few weeks ago at a showing of Ricky Gervais’ The Invention of Lying, with a popcorn and soda in hand no less. All told this situation I found myself in cost me around 25 bucks; cheaper than an abortion, sure, but less than half as reasonable.

No idea how I got there (lie: I walked); no idea why I was there (half-truth: I think it was the gimmick, I’m a sucker for a gimmick. This is the only reason I see the X-Men movies—that guy can go through walls! That guy can freeze things! That guy is Captain Picard!); no idea why I didn’t walk out (lie: I had paid for the ticket, duh). If someone had asked me, pre-falling-on-my-head or whatever induced me to go see this movie, “Hey, have you heard of this movie The Invention of Lying? Think it’s any good?” I would have said, “Looks boring. Definitely skip it.” Where was I when I needed myself? Well, aren’t you lucky that I’m here now and with a public service to provide no less. Here is a screengrab from the one scene worth seeing in the movie (the actual scene lasts about 30 seconds, but alas I couldn’t find a clip):

invention of lying

You’re welcome.


10 responses to “The Other Day I Fell On My Head and Woke Up at the Movies

  1. I think this is the best time of my life as I have ZP and AP, and I’m an old person !!

  2. gah! thanks for the heads up – i love ricky and most everything he touches (have you heard the podcasts he does with stephen?) but i was debating whether or not to count this as one of the two movies i’ll see this year. good to know it’s not but also sad.

    also, i love californ. ’tis true. and apparently kg is getting into it too. see what power you wield?! (interro-stan-lee’s-advice-re: power-inserted-here)…

  3. Haha, Nani, you are right that ZP and AP are right up there with the Internet in making the world a better place.

    But in order to qualify as an old person, you’d have to start looking and acting like an old person, and you FAIL on both counts.

  4. i completely disagree. TV is better than it used to be, but every year there are still a lot of really good movies. some of the best ones i have ever seen were in the past decade.

    there’s also a truckload of crap in the theater. but you could say that for TV too. when TV got good, that meant there were some shows that were good. but those good shows were still a minority of gems among the stinky heap.

    oh and i didn’t think “the departed” was that great. “infernal affairs”, the chinese original, is much better.

  5. Yes, but it’s in Chinese! (Sorry, was channeling Don Imus there for a second.) Now I’m back. Infernal Affairs, you say? Does the Chinese version also have that stupid last shot?

  6. Oops, up there where it says “books and movies and art,” it’s supposed to say “books and music and art.” I think I really did fall on my head.
    Update: Fixed!

  7. Gojira – YOU LIE!!! Need I remind you of G-Force?

  8. Hahaha, LB, but that just means that I saw three good movies this year, not two.

    G-Force was amazing, though, and don’t forget: 3-D!

  9. Yes, but it’s in Chinese!

    i once had a conversation with someone who argued that catonese isn’t real chinese. so from that perspective, it isn’t

    Does the Chinese version also have that stupid last shot?

    i don’t remember the last shot of IA, so probably not.the plot is pretty similar to “the departed” but every place where they are different, infernal affairs gets it better IMHO.

  10. Gojira, you’re too kind 🙂 But you do deserve home made pancakes with extra butter !!

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