In Which I Suffer a Near-Fatal Attack at the Peels of a Group of Nefarious Tangerines, But Am Saved and Medevaced by Roti “Hawkeye” Paratha

treacherous tangerine

There's one left. I'm thinking about either giving it up for adoption or sending it to The Hague to be tried for war crimes, but you just know it will "have a heart attack" before sentencing. Does anyone want to adopt a tangerine that may or may not have worked for Blackwater (now renamed Xe; fun fact: murdering civilians is way more adorable with a shorter name—allegedly)?

So when life gives you lemons, you’re supposed to make lemonade, right? That’s assuming life also gave you sugar. What do you do when life (in the form of Whole Foods) gives you horrible tangerines? In retrospect, making horrible tangerine–ade would probably have been a, well, not a good idea, but a more interesting one (especially since you don’t need sugar to make horrible tangerine–ade). I opted to eat them despite their horribleness, given that I had paid for them, after all (a continuing theme of this blog: stupid, boring, bad-tasting things I do or eat because some amount of money and/or time has already been spent). The whole episode was unpleasant and made me feel rather goatlike, but minus the enjoyment a goat would surely have gotten out of these alleged tangerines. And that’s without going into the whole Iraq connection.


Life (this time in the form of the Chinese grocery store, the one that uses a Chinese-to-Old-West dictionary) also gave me roti parathas.

roti paratha

How can something so simple, so frozen, necessitating so little work (put in pan for 5 minutes; the end) be so delicious and fresh-tasting?


That's steam, people!


Thai-style tacos! With an assist from Red "Hot Lips Houlihan" Curry

Now, Baji and/or TP, do you have an Indian-style curry recipe you recommend?

Other things that life has sent or is sending my way this month: everything bagels, haricots verts, Al Gore, pumpkin seeds, my grandmother… Will the bounty never stop? Globalization, I love you. Don’t ever change.

3 responses to “In Which I Suffer a Near-Fatal Attack at the Peels of a Group of Nefarious Tangerines, But Am Saved and Medevaced by Roti “Hawkeye” Paratha

  1. first, ‘roti paratha’ is like saying ‘chai tea.’ at least in pakistan/india it is. roti is thin and dry while paratha is usually buttery/oily and may even be stuffed with something like potatoes or onions. you might get away with ‘roti paratha’ in the far east, but that don’t play in desiland!

    second, while i completely share your hatred of letting good money/time go to waste, food is something i don’t mind dumping if i don’t want it. usually, i’m in luck and tp will eat it. otherwise, i’ll try to salvage it (stir fried rice is a good start) or trash it. and then curse whole foods for selling me jank.

    third, not sure what curry to recommend (tp is the expert in that field) but i’d totally gobble some channa masala with roti and/or paratha:

    labne is good too!

  2. It makes perfect sense that my favorite “Indian” dish, chicken tikka masala, would be Scottish! Mmmm, I’m going to stick that in a redundant roti paratha. In fact, I’m going to put everything in a roti from now on (scrambled eggs would be excellent for breakfast).

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